ADHD and Marriage--Are They Compatible?

People suffering from attention deficit hyperactivity disorder represent a rapidly growing slice of the American population, and this has far-reaching implications for society as a whole.

Individuals married to a person with undiagnosed ADHD may contend with severe communication problems, according to psychiatrist Dr. Jennie Byrne, and often those problems can’t be resolved alone.

Byrne discussed her personal experiences and insights during a November 5 interview with Anna Riley of Rosen Law Firm, sharing tips on how couples can learn to live with an ADHD diagnosis. Riley, who works with Charlotte divorce lawyers, uncovered the mystery and myths surrounding the disorder.

“The spouse that has ADHD—they may do things related to being distracted while they’re talking to the other person. For example, they might seem like they’re not really listening… their mind might be going elsewhere,” says Byrne.

Often people who suffer from ADHD have issues remembering little details and managing time, according to Byrne, which can create several small conflicts within a marriage.

“Over time, [small conflicts] can really build up into large conflicts and serious problems in the relationship,” says Byrne. “It’s very common that ADHD in adults goes undiagnosed or misdiagnosed… we’re still learning a lot about ADHD; we didn’t even used to think that it happened in adults.”

Byrne also suggests that the impulsivity and distractability issues of ADHD can cause issues within a marriage. Receiving an accurate ADHD diagnosis for the spouse who’s suffering can improve the chances that a marriage will be successful and may lower the likelihood of divorce.

StayHappilyMarried.com hosts weekly podcasts that feature local and national professionals who provide insider tips on common (and not-so-common) marital issues. Recent episodes include “1,000 Places to Fight before You Die” and “Couples Who ‘Click’: What Makes a Successful Marriage?”

About Rosen Law Firm

Rosen Law Firm has offices in Charlotte, Raleigh and Chapel Hill. Using cutting-edge technology to connect with clients and manage cases, the divorce lawyers at Rosen Law Firm represent people from all over the state. The firm provides help with custody disputes, property distribution, separation agreements, alimony and domestic violence relief.

9 Little Lies You Should Never Tell Your Husband

"These jeans were only $30!" "No, I don't care that your feet are on the coffee table." White lies don't doom a marriage, right? "We don't want to upset, annoy or scare our spouse, so it's easier to lie," says biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, PhD, Chief Scientific Officer of Chemistry.com and Match.com. But fibbing is a slippery slope. "When you lie continually, you won't be able to keep your lies straight. Your husband will find out you're lying, and then there's no trust." And a marriage like that isn't one you want to be in. Here, experts explain common lies women tell, how they can harm the relationship and what you can do instead of stretching the truth. Photo by Thinkstock.

1. "I never talk about our personal life with my friends."
Some women tell their girlfriends about relationship problems, knowing their guys would be upset if they found out. "It's important for spouses to feel like their marriage is a secret, sacred space," says licensed marriage and family therapist Carin Goldstein, creator of Be the Smart Wife. Taking private information to a friend means you're running from a problem to avoid confrontation.

Venting about your husband's messy closet is one thing, but don't take serious issues public. "If you're constantly asking a friend how to solve a problem in your marriage, then you're going to the wrong source," says Goldstein. "You're stunting your relationship by trying to fix the issue with another person."

2. "I had only one glass of wine at dinner."
Your husband may have told you he doesn't like how you act when you drink too much. "Maybe you flirt with other men or yell, which makes your husband critical of you," explains Andra Brosh, PhD. So now you hide how many glasses of wine you've had so he's not on the lookout for bad behavior.

The problem grows when you start layering lies. "You might stop telling your partner where you're going out or make up stories about why you drank, which erodes trust even more." Instead of covering up your drinking habits, address your husband's concerns and work on solutions for valid issues together.

3. "I've never seen Jim outside of work."
If you think your husband can't handle your friendship with another man, you may think telling him about your relationship would create tension. "Partners lie about meeting up with friends of the opposite sex because they believe they won't get caught-and they'd prefer not to open a can of worms," says Dr. Brosh.

But if you say you don't see a male friend and then do, innocent interactions can feel like betrayal if your husband finds out. "Tell your spouse you don't want to jeopardize your marriage for a friendship with your coworker, but you'd like to understand what bothers him about the relationship," says Dr. Brosh. "Work on what's triggering the jealousy. When two people feel a sense of safety in the relationship, having an opposite-sex friendship becomes less of an issue."

4. "I always watch what I eat."
"I buy these amazing coffee cakes sometimes on my way to work," says Renee* from Dearborn, MI. "I think I'll have just a piece at lunch, but end up eating half the cake. I don't want my husband to know I've had that much."

Although some men may care about their wives' munches, the pressure to eat well is usually internal. "Women often make presumptions about their partners without ever hearing them say anything judgmental," says Dr. Brosh. "You're judging yourself and then blaming him for preventing you from owning up to it." Cut yourself some slack about the occasional food indulgence. Tell your husband, and laugh about it with him. Lying about a non-issue only corrodes trust in your marriage.

5. "I wasn't with Katie; I was only with Jennifer and Susan."
If one of your friends continually butts heads with your husband, you may feel like spending time with her means aligning with her. "So she'll tell him she went to lunch with someone else," says Dr. Fisher.

"No one wants to defend her choice of friends," says Dr. Brosh. "But you may resent your partner for 'making you lie.'" The solution: Have a conversation with your spouse about Katie's role in your life. Your husband may better understand the importance of your friendship-and like her a little better too.

6. "These new shoes? They were on sale."
"I bought electronic toothbrushes from my dentist," says Anna* from Fairfield, CT. "They were $70 a piece and I said they were $50 a piece. I know my husband would've said our regular toothbrushes were fine if the price was too high." Dr. Brosh says lies about purchases stem from the "power differential in the relationship, often modeled by parents growing up. The man controls the money, and the wife thinks she needs permission to purchase something."

Agree to discuss buys over a certain amount with each other, and feel free to keep mum when the total is under that (knowing that he'll do the same). If your husband asks about a particular item, tell the truth. Past generations of men may have held the purse strings, but that doesn't mean your hubby does or wants to; he may just be curious.

7. "I didn't forget to go to the bank. I got busy and figured I'd go later."
You may not realize you tell the tiniest lies, but it probably comes from a sense you have to give a more legitimate excuse than the real reason, like simply spacing out. "Lying about little things is an avoidance of feeling shame," says Dr. Brosh.

Small fibs signify a deeper issue of insecurity. "If your partner tends to be condescending, lying might be a direct response to that," explains Dr. Brosh. If you notice a pattern of senseless lies, be upfront with your husband so he can have a broader view of the situation and help you work through it.

8. "Of course you're great in bed. I'm totally satisfied."
Whether it's singing his praises or faking an orgasm, lying about between-the-sheets fulfillment happens a lot. "Wives don't want to feel responsible for their husband's shame," says Goldstein.

Dealing with dissatisfaction this way actually deepens the issue. "If a need's not being met, the problem will get bigger," says Goldstein. So nip it in the bud. "First, ask yourself why you can't orgasm. Figure out what works for your body, and then say, 'I love it when you do this. Let's keep doing that.'" Positive reinforcement encourages your husband to continue doing the things you like in bed, which ultimately satisfies you both. Bonus: You build his confidence and spare his feelings.

9. "No, that doesn't bother me at all."
The honeymoon phase causes newlyweds to insist things that really bug them don't-and the annoyance can persist for years. If you're afraid of rocking the boat, you may hold grievances in until you're bubbling with anger. "Spouses blow off little things, avoiding having to talk about feelings and resolve issues," says Goldstein. "But it's a major issue. I just dealt with this in practice and it ended in divorce."

A little recurring thing is a big deal. "With Twitter, Facebook and social media, there's so much room to act out what isn't getting resolved in marriage, confiding in another person," says Goldstein. Avoid that and be honest with your spouse. Try: "This may sound silly, but it annoys me when you put your feet on the coffee table. You leave smudges. Could you please use the footstool?" It may take some time (and reminders) to tweak his habit, but he'll get there-without you holding a grudge against him.

*Names have been changed

Fasting may not be necessary before cholesterol test

Before taking a cholesterol test, adults are typically told to fast for up to 12 hours or else levels in the bloodstream may be skewed by the recent meal. A new study, however, finds fasting may not be necessary after all.

The study, published Nov. 12 in the Archives of Internal Medicine, found the amount of time a person spent fasting prior to a cholesterol test had little impact on the end results.

"This finding suggests that fasting for routine lipid level determinations is largely unnecessary," wrote the authors.

A cholesterol test, also called a lipid panel or lipid profile, measures the four types of lipids (fats) found in the blood, according to The Mayo Clinic. It measures low-density lipoprotein (LDL) cholesterol, sometimes called "bad cholesterol" because high levels of it could lead to plaque buildup in the arteries, potentially causing a heart attack and stroke.

The test also measures high-density lipoprotein (HDL) cholesterol, sometimes called "good cholesterol" because it helps carry LDL away from the blood. Cholesterol tests also measure total cholesterol and triglycerides, a type of fat found in the blood. People are typically told to have no food or liquids other than water for nine to 12 hours before the exam.

Researchers at the University of Calgary in Alberta, Canada, examined laboratory data on cholesterol tests taken over a 6-month period in 2011 of over 209,000 participants (111,000 of which were women).

Participants had fasting times that ranged from less than one hour to 16 hours, and when the researchers crunched the data, they found minimal differences between patients' cholesterol screening results. On average, there was less than a 2 percent difference for total cholesterol and HDL cholesterol, less than a 10 percent difference for LDL cholesterol and less than a 20 percent difference for triglyceride levels -- regardless of fasting times.

Study author Dr. Christopher Naugler, assistant professor of clinical pathology at the University of Calgary, in Canada, told HealthDay that some patients, such as those with high triglyceride levels, may still require repeat fasting cholesterol tests. But for many others, the fasting test is largely unnecessary.

"Eliminating fasting as a general requirement for cholesterol testing could greatly increase convenience for patients without significantly altering test results," he said.

In an accompanying editorial published in the same journal, Dr. J. Michael Gaziano, a chronic disease epidemiologist at Harvard Medical School in Boston, said the "exceedingly small" gain of information from a fasting blood test likely does not offset the logistical constraints put on patients, laboratories and doctors for the procedure.

"This, in my opinion, tips the balance toward relying on nonfasting lipid profiles as the preferred practice," he wrote.

What Supermodel Adriana Lima Eats To Get Ready For The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show

Supermodel Adriana Lima just had a baby. Even so, she'll definitely be ready to walk in this year's Victoria's Secret Fashion Show.

While other models, like Gisele Bundchen, claim to eat steak and pizza, Lima is actually honest about her pre-show regiment.

Last year, she told the Telegraph exactly how she gets ready:

"She sees a nutritionist, who has measured her body's muscle mass, fat ratio and levels of water retention. He prescribes protein shakes, vitamins and supplements to keep Lima's energy levels up during this training period. Lima drinks a gallon of water a day. For nine days before the show, she will drink only protein shakes - "no solids". The concoctions include powdered egg. Two days before the show, she will abstain from the daily gallon of water, and "just drink normally". Then, 12 hours before the show, she will stop drinking entirely."

In addition to her liquid diet, Lima works out for two or more hours a day.

Other models are also consuming liquids before the show. Fellow Angel Doutzen Kroes tweeted her smoothie recipe, which included cocoa, chia seeds, acai berries and flaxseed.

The fashion show is tonight but won't air until next month. We'll be there to show you what happens.

The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show 2012

The 69th Regiment Armory at the Lexington Avenue in New York City became the world’s headquarters of global beauties on November 7th, during the taping of the annual Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.

Against all weather obstacles, the sequels of hurricane Sandy and a snow storm, some of the world’s most recognized top models took the spotlight during the annual lingerie event, which is now the most watched event of its kind in the world.

Two shows were scheduled for thisw year, the first at 4 pm and the second one at 8 pm. The press had the opportunity to share with the VS Angels during a special photo-op at 1 pm which included them getting ready with hair and make-up.

The show, which lasted a little over an hour in both instances, included performances by Rihanna, Bruno Mars and Justin Bieber. Six concepts were designed for this year, which were Circus, Calendar Girls, Dangerous Liaisons, Pink is Me, Silver Screen Goddesses and Bloom.

Mars performed his single ‘Locked out of Heaven’ during Calendar Girls, while Rihanna performed ‘Diamonds’ during Dangerous Liaisons. Bieber sang his hit ‘Beauty and the Beat’ during Pink is me, the VS line aimed at high school and college students.

There were 37 models (originally 38) after the withdrawal of Brazilian Lais Ribeiro who hurt her ankle during rehearsal and was unable to walk during the show. These lucky ladies walked the world’s most coveted runway this year:

- Adriana Lima (Brazil)
- Alessandra Ambrosio (Brazil)
- Behati Prinsloo (Namibia)
- Candice Swanepoel (South Africa)
- Doutzen Kroes (Netherlands)
- Erin Heatherton (USA)
- Lily Aldridge (USA)
- Lindsay Ellingson (USA)
- Miranda Kerr (Australia)
- Barbara Fialho (Brazil)
- Barbara Palvin (Hungary)
- Bregje Heinen (Netherlands)
- Cameron Russell (USA)
- Cara Delevingne (UK)
- Constance Jablonski (France)
- Dorothea Barth Jorgensen (Sweden)
- Elsa Hosk (Sweden)
- Frida Gustavsson (Sweden)
- Hilary Rhoda (USA)
- Ieva Laguna (Latvia)
- Isabeli Fontana (Brazil)
- Izabel Goulart (Brazil)
- Jacquelyn Jablonski (USA)
- Jasmine Tookes (USA)
- Jessica Hart (Australia)
- Joan Smalls (Puerto Rico)
- Jourdan Dunn (UK)
- Karlie Kloss (USA)
- Lily Donaldson (UK)
- Liu Wen (China)
- Magdalena Frackowiak (Poland)
- Maud Welzen (Netherlands)
- Shanina Shaik (Australia)
- Sharam Diniz (Portugal)
- Shu Pei (China)
- Sui He (China)
- Toni Garrn (Germany)

The 17th annual Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show will be televised on Tuesday, December 4th on CBS.

Amgen’s Drug Lowers Cholesterol Among Statin Intolerant

Amgen Inc. (AMGN), the world’s largest biotechnology company, said its experimental heart drug lowered cholesterol levels in patients unable to take standard medicines such as Pfizer Inc.’s Lipitor because of side effects.

The drug, AMG-145, which targets cholesterol-regulating gene PCSK9 in the liver, reduced LDL, or bad cholesterol, 51 percent in patients intolerant to medicines like Lipitor, called statins, after 12 weeks, and 63 percent among those taking it in combination with Merck & Co.’s (MRK) cholesterol treatment Zetia, according to a study presented today at the American Heart Association meeting in Los Angeles.

Amgen is focusing on the drug’s potential to help offset declining sales of its anemia drugs Aranesp and Epogen, which together will generate $4 billion in estimated sales this year and face increased competition by 2015. The Thousand Oaks, California-based company is competing with some of the world’s biggest drugmakers, such as Pfizer, Roche Holding AG (ROG) and Sanofi (SAN), to be first to market with the new cholesterol medicine.

“Close to a million people in the U.S. alone who are treated with statins cannot tolerate them or the doses needed for effective cholesterol control,” said Evan Stein, director of the Metabolic and Atherosclerosis Research Center in Cincinnati and one of the study’s researchers.

The market for these PCSK9 inhibitors may be at least $10 billion, Adnan Butt, an analyst with RBC Capital Markets in San Francisco, said in an e-mail last week. In the U.S. about 1 million can’t take statins because of side effects such as muscle soreness, he said.
Highest Dose

Pfizer (PFE) today also released data on its PCSK9 inhibitor, RN 316, showing the drug at its highest dose lowered bad cholesterol in patients on statins by 80 percent after their first treatment. Cholesterol fell so low for some in the 135- person study, they weren’t eligible to get a second dose, said Barry Gumbiner, lead researcher on the medicine for New York- based Pfizer, the world’s largest drugmaker.

At the end of the 12-week study, those getting the highest dose had a decline in LDL of 56 percent. Pfizer didn’t see any unusual safety signals, Gumbiner said.

In a separate clinical trial, Amgen said its drug reduced LDL as much as 56 percent in patients with a genetic disorder called heterozygous familial hypercholesterolemia, some of whom were also taking statins and Zetia. HeFH, which affects at least 1 in 500 people worldwide, elevates LDL as well as total cholesterol and leads to early cardiovascular disease and death, the company said in a statement.

Amgen is scheduled tomorrow to release data at the heart meeting on how patients who are unable to reach appropriate levels of cholesterol on statins responded to AMG-145.
Under Skin

Shares of Amgen declined less than 1 percent to $86.35 at the close of trading in New York. The stock has increased 34 percent this year. Pfizer gained less than 1 percent to $24.58.

Pfizer has started another study involving 350 patients getting an injection under the skin rather than an infusion. The company expects results in June. Pfizer’s drug was developed by Scientists at Rinat Neuroscience, which Pfizer acquired in 2006.

Fashion week is back with a stylish flourish

THE fourth annual Oxford Fashion Week starts today with a range of events across the city.

Oxford Fashion Week will run until Saturday, showcasing up-and-coming designers at themed fashion shows.

Carl Anglim, 26, started Oxford Fashion Week in 2009 with his partner Victoria Watson, and they have run it every year since, until now. This year, they have taken a back seat.

Mr Anglim said: “We created a production team, BMLY (Big Me Little You), and they have been responsible for producing it.

“I am really excited to see how they have put the week together, and for the first time to be a guest at something we helped to create.”

Oxford’s previous three fashion weeks featured the work of such big name designers as Alexander McQueen, Matthew Williamson and Valentin Yudashkin.

Events for this years begin tonight at Oxford’s oldest independent cinema, the Ultimate Picture Palace.

The venue will host an invite-only black tie event, showing a special screening of the 2009 film Coco before Chanel, starring Audrey Tautou.

OFW’s official launch party will kick off on Tuesday night at the Living Room in Oxford’s Castle Quarter.

But it’s not all black-tie and VIP as city-shoppers will have the opportunity to experience a free cat-walk show at the Claredon Shopping Centre on Wednesday.

One of the new events for this year will be a free, ethical fashion fair at Oxford Town Hall on Thursday.

The fair will feature talks from experts in the subject, stalls and ethical fashion workshops, making it more interactive than a catwalk show. It takes place between noon and 5pm.

Also on Thursday is the cosmopolitan show, at the Town Hall, between 8pm and 10.30pm, which is a showcase for independent designers to demonstrate their wares, particularly focusing on pret a porter (ready to wear) and lingerie.

Friday sees the elysium concept show, for avant garde fashion, between 8.30pm and 11.30pm at the town hall.

The main event is the black tie haute couture show at the Ashmolean Museum on Saturday. There will be a red carpet reception, with celebrities, the national press and fashion buyers in attendance.

European fashion buyers look to Nigeria

A model struts the runway wearing a flowing newspaper print gown in this African megacity where international high-end fashion buyers are looking beyond the country's bleak headlines to uncover the next new thing.

There have been steady efforts to turn Lagos, a city with a fearsome reputation, into a fashion destination. They reached new heights at the MTN Lagos Fashion & Design Week that ran from Oct. 24 to 27 and drew European high-fashion brands such as the United Kingdom's Selfridges & Co. and Munich-based MyTheresa.com to Nigeria for the first time.

Ituen Basi's newspaper inspired Spring/Summer 2013 collection was among 39 collections spotlighted at the city's latest major fashion week. The Nigerian label's collection evoked fun and glamour through its use of print and color — characteristics which have come to define the vibrant local fashion scene.

With local brands seeking wider platforms and international retailers hungry for novelty, designers and buyers see opportunities for collaboration.

"There's something about the fresh, the unknown, the possibility of seeing a new brand springing forth into the limelight. ... These are becoming interesting to people outside Nigeria," said Omoyemi Akerele, the fashion week's founder and creative director.

An encouraging response to African-inspired designs by top Western labels gives buyers confidence that designs straight from the continent will also sell.

"Over the past few seasons, there's been a strong trend for print," said Bruno Barba, the brand public relations manager at Selfridges. "If you look at the collection of Burberry inspired by Africa last year; there was also Vivienne Westwood, Paul Smith. ... They've made that inspiration quite mainstream now. So, for us, it was interesting to take that trend and take it from its roots in Africa."

Online retailer MyTheresa.com, which ships top designers' clothes including Miu Miu, Givenchy, Lanvin and Isabel Meron to clients in 120 different countries, is also looking for products in Nigeria that will sell well. The company hopes that will set it apart from the competition in a fast-paced industry.

"For me, Nigeria represents a fun individualism," the company's buying director Justin O'Shea said. He also said that MyTheresa.com was looking to work closely with designers and adapt products for their clientele if needed.

Previously, several Nigerian designers have helped put the West African nation on the global fashion map.

Deola Sagoe has gained recognition from U.S. Vogue editor Andre Leon Talley and Oprah Winfrey. London-based Duro Olowu is considered one of Michelle Obama's favorite designers. Maki Oh has dressed American singer Solange Knowles and Hollywood actress Leelee Sobieski from her Lagos workshop. Jewel By Lisa, who has also dressed celebrities, designed limited edition BlackBerry mobile phone skins and jeweled cases for Canadian manufacturer Research In Motion Ltd.

While looking to Nigeria could bring much-needed novelty to clothes targeted to global audiences, it could also endear a Nigerian clientele. Though the majority of the nation lives on less than $2 a day, the nation's wealthy elite have a growing appetite for top-shelf brands. Luxury goods stores are increasingly opening in a country where seemingly gratuitous displays of wealth are the norm.

"Nigerians are part of our Top 10 highest-spending foreign customers," Barba said. "It felt right for us to try and find a response that would appeal to them, excite them and be over and above what they already buy, almost as a recognition that they're an important part of our consumer base."

____

JEWEL BY LISA

Fashion week after fashion week, Lisa Folawiyo, the creative director of Jewel By Lisa, is a consistent Nigerian designer. She recently started retailing at the New York-based online luxury store Moda Operandi and continues to draw attention from international buyers and labels looking for a modern interpretation of African style.

Her Spring/Summer 2013 collection is named "Fula" after the Fulani women it draws inspiration from. The Fulani are a nomadic people spread across several African countries, including Nigeria.

Their women typically have fine traits and slender frames, not unlike the models that took to the catwalk with soundtrack that crossed the high-pitched melody of the African guitar and the heavy bass of house music.

The Jewel by Lisa collection turned traditional loop earrings into a motif that repeated itself throughout her satin fabrics across stunning color combinations.

ANITA QUANSAH LONDON

Anita Quansah London is a prolific one-woman operation based in a London workshop. The Ghanaian-Nigerian designer describes her work as a "labor of love." She sells to a global market including Asians and Europeans. She says she is now in talks to build a diffusion line to meet up with the growing demand of her work that has caught the eye of such designers as Christian Delacroix.

Her Spring/Summer 2013 collection is dramatic for "ladies who want to make a statement when they walk in to a room."

Her show-stopping bib necklaces are embellished with intricate bead work. The beads include imitation coral beads used for traditional outfits in southern Nigeria. Some bibs are lined with chicken feathers which also evoke traditional heirlooms.

Her dresses were understated and mostly in solid black, ceding the limelight to the jewelry that included suggestive chain designs inspired by bondage. Quansah said she wanted to show "women that weren't afraid to be sexy."

LANRE DASILVA AJAYI

Designer Lanre DaSilva Ajayi is well-known in Nigeria's fashion scene for her love of 40s elegance. International buyers such as Selfridges & Co. expressed interest in her designs for retail at their UK stores.

Her ultra-feminine collection used a color palette ranging from cool nude and turquoise to warm orange and gold.

She showed flowing silhouettes and easy-to-wear maxi dresses, using chiffon, raw silk lace and the lace used in traditional Nigerian outfits to carve European shapes.

Her clothes are for the woman on the move, bold and sophisticated.

JOSH SAMUELS

The MTN Lagos Fashion and Design Week 2013 was also the culmination of a months-long competition for new talent. The competition winner was menswear designer Josh Samuels, an architect turned designer that offered a geometric collection.

"I like things organized and appropriate," said Samuels who won the equivalent of $25,000 and the opportunity to be stocked in some Nigerian boutiques.

His collection called "Casanova" included finely tailored suits with classic checkered and houndstooth patterns and matching string ties.